Will the Real Shop-a-holics Please Stand Up

We live in a world of stereotypes - especially when it comes to men and women. Women are the talkers. Men are the jocks. Only women cry. Men are messy animals. We could go on. Here's one more. Women love to shop. But, guess what? Not all women enjoy shopping, and in reality there are quite a few men who thrive on it. I am not one of them. I am not a shopper or a spender.

Shopping sprees and addictions are often associated with women, but in reality more men have been developing shopping addictions in recent years, according to Terrance Shulman, founder and director of the Shulman Center For Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding. Schulman estimates there are about 30 million Americans  with a compulsive shopping problem,  and get ready for this, 50% of them are men. Fifty percent!

While men and women tend to shop differently, Shulman  says the trend has ignited and overlapped in recent years as society has become increasingly consumer oriented.  "Men will spend on vacations, homes, and new cars - they bite off more than they can chew to keep up with the Joneses," he says.

His typical client is married or engaged, in their 40s or 50s and well -educated. Many  have prior addictions to alcohol or drugs, and have shifted their compulsions into spending because it is viewed as less deterrent to their daily lives.

It was just last week that famed sports writer Buzz Bissinger revealed in GQ Magazine that he blew more than a half million dollars on designer clothes, mainly Gucci, in two years.

I've always said people who can, do. But sadly, many people who can't, do it anyway. Then they become burdened down with bills, debt, financial stress, marital difficulties, and can even wind up in bankruptcy or foreclosure.

The fact is, we live in a materialistic society in which we are constantly bombarded with messages that scream at us that we need this latest fashion, that new gadget, or this incredible invention we can't possibly live without.

The question in my mind is this. Which causes more problems - having two people in a marriage with no self-control when it comes to shopping and spending, or  a situation in which one partner has it and the other doesn't? I don't have the answer to that question, but it seems to me that both situations can be problematic.

Shopping addictions don't always mean massive spending.It's about not having the control to say no and stop the spending. We have long complained that it's the women who are doing the spending. Turns out that is not necessarily the case.