Soccer Referee Dies From Player Punch: Could We Have A Little Self Control

When it comes to competition, I think of myself as being a pretty competitive guy. Whether it's miniature golf, playing table games, or playing street football on Thanksgiving Day with my brother-in-law I want to win. But I also think I'm a pretty god loser.  Losing does not cause me great stress, and generally doesn't ruin my day, unless it happens to be a double overtime loss in the divisional round of the NFL Playoffs. More than winning, I like competing. But, it seems that in sports today in this country, whether it's a local recreational youth league, sanctioned high school athletics, or professional sports it seems we have lost our way when it comes to winning and losing, respecting authority, and accepting the consequences of our actions. It's like anything goes. And it's okay.

We could talk about the aggression that surfaces regularly in hockey games, where players go at each other, fist fighting in fits of rage.

We could talk about the way baseball managers yell and scream and  hurl unspeakable profanities at umpires, who's call they happen to disagree with. In what other setting is this considered "acceptable" behavior?

We could talk about parents and fans at a local high school basketball game that yell out horrible insults at imperfect  referees who are out there doing the best they can to  provide young athletes with a positive competitive experience. C'mon man! We aren't talking about life and death here.

Or we could talk about Ricardo Portillo of Salt Lake City. Ricardo was a father, a grand father, and youth soccer league referee. Ricardo is dead. He died Saturday following a week in a coma after being struck in the head by an angry  17 year-old soccer player during a match. Ricardo had called a foul on the player and issued a yellow card, which serves as a first warning. The player responded by punching the referee in the head.

The fact is, in most of these cases we have described, it's not even about winning and losing. It's about having a little self control. Controlling our temper. Controlling our mouths. Controlling the rage that rises within us. Whether it's in the heat of competition, a dispute with a co-worker, or a disagreement with a spouse - what we need is a little self control.

Three daughters will live the rest of their lives without their father because one young man, in a single moment of time, did not control his temper. This is not the first - or last time that a loss of self control had led to dire consequences. But, perhaps it can serve as a reminder to us all that we need to keep our mouths and emotions in check, and demonstrate a little restraint when we are rubbed the wrong way. The potential consequences -whether it's damage to a relationship or friendship, a legal tangle, or  like in Ricardo's tragic situation- death-- are never worth it.