Naked Bandits Damage Colorado Furniture Store with Bodily Fluids

A couple was found inside a Colorado furniture store completely naked after breaking in and causing thousands of dollars of damage with food and "bodily fluids."

A Break-In at a Colorado Furniture Store

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The incident took place on June 19th, 2022 after police were called by an employee of the furniture store to report what appeared to be a break-in. The employee showed up to work around 6:30 a.m. at the American Furniture Warehouse store located at 2805 North Chestnut Street in Colorado Springs.

The store is passed by countless drivers on a regular basis as it is located right off of I-25:

Upon arriving on the scene, police determined that someone had broken in using a large stone and followed a trail of food left all over the floor in an effort to find the culprits.

However, they likely weren't expecting to find what came next.

A Naked Couple Inside a Colorado Furniture Store

Police discovered two individuals who were later identified as 48-year-old Shane Purvis and 35-year-old Laura Jones inside the store's electrical room holding each other in their birthday suits.

However, the actual identities of the naked bandits were not found out until later as the couple initially identified themselves as Jesus Christ and Luna Crystal to the police.

What's Going to Happen to the Colorado Naked Bandits?

The naked bandits caused an estimated $16,250 worth of damage to the American Furniture Warehouse store with what an arrest affidavit describes as "food reside and bodily fluids."

Because of this, Purvis and Jones have been charged with felony second-degree burglary and felony criminal mischief.

Luckily, all of the furniture damaged with the couple's food residue and bodily fluids has been thrown away.

[Colorado Springs Independent]