How To Lose a Grand Junction Guy in 10 Ways
When it’s time to cut ties with your guy, why break up with them when you can just do these instead? This is how to lose a Grand Junction guy in 10 ways.
You Hate the Broncos
Make sure you make a huge fuss about how much you hate them anytime you see their logo and hear anything Broncos related. Bonus points if you do while he’s watching a game.
You Hate Big Trucks Drive a Prius
You complain every time you get in his truck and especially while he gets gas. Tell him how much you hate how he doesn’t care about the environment and remind him you are righteous because you drive a Prius.
Anti Hunter Guilt Tripper
He loves hunting and it is your duty to guilt trip him about it. Anything along the lines of “haven’t you seen Bambi?,” will do and the more stuffed animals you have, the better. (And of course, the food you eat doesn’t count because you didn’t kill it.)
You Can’t Stand To Get Dirty
Make sure you let him know that you can’t stand to get dirty…and you know what I mean. Complain about every particle of dirt that you see from the time you’re four wheeling, snowboarding, etc. all the way until you take a shower.
You’re a Cat Girl
Dogs are the vilest, most disgusting creatures you have ever seen. The fact that he has a dog is unforgivable and it’s time that he decides between you, or the dog.
California Texas Are Way Better Than Colorado
Say something like “California is the best place on Earth and Colorado just sucks compared to California.” Never let up on how much you’d rather be in California.
You’re Always Glued to the Couch
Whatever he asks you, just say no. No matter what it is, let him know you’d rather sit on the couch, watch Sex and the City, stay in your sweats and not go anywhere with him.
You Can’t Hold Your Booze
In the land of breweries, wineries, and distilleries he’d think that you could hold your booze, but you can’t. Act obnoxious, make him take care of you and throw up and cry if you can.
You Can’t Bait a Hook
If you somehow get talked into fishing because numbers 2-4 didn’t work, don’t bait it. It’s “like, so gross” and you can’t believe he’s actually touching that nastiness. And now that he’s touched it, he’s definitely not touching you.
Nature is Annoying
He wants you to go on a fall drive, you hate leaves. He wants you to go kayaking, water is gross. Let him know that Nature is annoying, gross and you don’t like it touching you.