For a guy who loves pumpkin pie, I'm apparently not a big pumpkin fan.

Yes, I love a good pumpkin pie - with emphasis on GOOD. There is a lot of bad, tasteless pumpkin pie, but there's just nothing like a flavorful pumpkin pie with whipped cream and a cup of black coffee.

I'm not even opposed to the popular pumpkin spiced coffees that out this time of year. In fact, I hope to enjoy one in the near future. However, beyond that, my love of pumpkins comes to a screeching halt.

I recently discovered there's a lot more you can do with pumpkins than just making pie, jack-o-lanterns, eating the seeds, and smashing the pumpkins after Halloween. All I can say is, I will not under any circumstances be doing any of the five following things.] with pumpkin.

1) Make Pumpkin Lasagne
I'm not exactly sure who invented lasagne, but I'm pretty sure he or she did not intend for pumpkin to be included in the list of ingredients. Lasagne is one of those items that is a bit sketchy in my book, anyway, because you never really know from lasagne to lasagne exactly what you're going to find inside. I'm certain that I will never in my life attempt to create pumpkin lasagne, unless, of course, there is a knife at my throat or gun to my head.

2) Use the Guts for Vegetable Stock
For starters, making vegetable stock is not something you would ever find my doing. You are more likely to find me hanging upside down in a dark, damp cave sipping root beer than making vegetable stock. So, there is absolutely no question that I would never even consider trying to make vegetable stock from the guts of pumpkin. The only thing I've ever done with pumpkin guts in my life is deposited them in the garbage. They look, feel, and smell disgusting. Why would I want that in my mouth?

3) Put Pumpkin On My Face
Sure, my face needs all the tender, loving care it can get, but it's not gonna come from a pumpkin. They tell us pumpkin is loaded with vitamins A, C, E, which supposedly fight wrinkles. Mix a little puree with some milk and honey, apply it to your face for 20 minutes and your complexion will be "fresh and glowing." I'm all about fighting wrinkles, but the only part of my face that's going to touch a pumpkin is my mouth at Thanksgiving.

4) Make Pumpkin Butter
Pumpkin butter may sound good to you, it may even taste good, but, one look at this butter, and your appetite is suddenly gone. It does not look like something you should be eating, but rather something that needs a handi-wipe. I love butter on toast, but the idea of adding pumpkin flavor to my toast is not an idea I'm willing to entertain. However, if you decided to make some pumpkin butter be sure and let me know how it turns out.

5) Make Pumpkin Pickles
I've never even heard of pumpkin pickles before and I can't help but wonder who the first person was who got the idea to make pickles out of pumpkin. I don't care how tasty the ingredients may be, but if you are combining pumpkin chunks with vinegar you can definitely count me out. Besides that, I'm not extremely excited about something that has to sit for two weeks before you can eat it.

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