10 Christmas Songs My Wife Absolutely Hates
There's nothing like a happy Christmas song to get you into the holiday spirit, but, let's be honest. Not every holiday song is a blue-ribbon winner.
At the risk of offending Santa's ever-listening ears and getting a spot on the naughty list, as much as I love Christmas music, even I, the Grand Valley's chief Christmas music elf, have to admit I don't enjoy every single holiday tune I hear. I love most of them, but not all of them.
What's interesting, though, is the fact that what sounds like heavenly, melodious music to one person is like fingernails on a chalkboard to somebody else. How can one person love something so much that another person absolutely hates it? Well, it's a reality that exists in our world today, as I discovered recently when my wife and I were driving around Grand Junction looking at holiday lights and listening to Christmas music on the radio.
Without even realizing it, we were creating a list of Christmas songs we love - as well those we hate. Some we agree on, while on others we are as far apart as the North Pole is from Grand Junction, and I am still struggling with the idea that another human being could hate some of these Christmas classics.
As you view the list of the 10 Christmas songs my wife absolutely hates, I'm sure you will find yourself in the same boat. You may share the same feelings about some of them, while others may cause you the same pain I'm feeling in my own heart because you actually love them so much.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU - Mariah Carey
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs during the holidays. It's such a joyful, upbeat song - how could you not just feel so good when you hear it? Yet, my wife says she turns it off every time it comes on the radio. What?? She finally concedes it's not so much the song she despises as it is the artist. While I am a big Mariah Carey fan, she is not, which puts All I Want For Christmas Is You on the top 10 list of Christmas songs my wife hates.
DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS - Band-Aid
Before there was the USA For Africa there was Band-Aid in 1984 - a super-group of mainly British and Irish artists like George Michael, Paul Young, Phil Collins, and Bono raising awareness and funds for famine relief in Ethiopia. My wife says "It just doesn't feel like a Christmas song - and it just makes you feel sad. It doesn't lift your spirits like most Christmas songs." I kind of have to agree with her on this one.
HEY, SANTA - Wendy and Carnie Wilson
This one blows my mind. How could anyone in their right mind not love Hey, Santa? Whenever this one comes on the radio, I immediately stop what I'm doing to listen. In fact, when I'm driving and I hear this song, I have to pull off the road and stop to listen until it's over. I love it! My wife, on the other hand, while she admits the first part is beautiful, once they get to the "Hey, Santas" - she's ready to smash the radio into thousands of pieces. She says "I hate that song!"
SANTA BABY- Madonna
I can't say I love Santa Baby, but, personally, I'd much rather listen to Madonna's updated version than the 1953 version by Eartha Kitt, which is one of my personal fingernails- on-a-chalkboard Christmas songs. Madonna picks up the tempo a little bit and has some fun with the song and I kind of like it. My wife, though, not so much."Santa Baby?" she says. "Really? I hate that song. It just ruins the day when I hear it."
LAST CHRISTMAS - Wham
I love songs about Christmas romance, but, I've never been a huge fan of Last Christmas until recent years. Once I started to learn the lyrics so I could sing along, I decided the song wasn't all that bad, although it is pretty sad. My wife just nods her head -nearly speechless with disdain for this song. "It doesn't even make sense," she says. "It's just an ignorant song."
RUN, RUDOLPH, RUN - Chuck Berry
Here's a Christmas song I don't love - but I don't hate it either. It's been around since 1958 and has that distinct 50s rock and roll sound which makes it very fun and unique. Is it silly? Yes, but so is giving your true love eight maids-a-milking or nine ladies dancing for Christmas. But, all she can say is "I hate it. It's dumb." Sorry, Chuck.
WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME - Paul McCartney
Since 1979, we have been playing Wonderful Christmastime on the radio - and I've never been a huge fan. But this year, I decided to learn the words - and it made a huge difference in my perception. I kind of like it. My wife, on the other hand, would rather scrub the inside of the oven with a toothbrush than have to listen to Wonderful Christmastime. I just hope she isn't using my toothbrush on the oven.
PRETTY PAPER - Roy Orbison
So here's one we can agree on. With all due respect to the late Roy Orbison, this is probably my number one "fingernails on a chalkboard" Christmas song. Willie Nelson does a nice version of this one, but, you rarely hear it. Honestly, it's not Roy's singing that grates on me, it's the background singers that make me want to throw my radio into the Colorado River. I have to say, my wife was right on the money when she identified this Christmas clunker.
THE CHIPMUNK SONG( CHRISTMAS DON'T BE LATE) - David Seville & the Chipmunks
Are you kidding me? Who doesn't absolutely love the Chipmunks? How is this classic Christmas song on the hate list? I grew up listening to the Chipmunks Christmas album and it helped make me what I am today. But, my wife says she's over it. "It was cute in the beginning, but now it's like wearing a worn-out pair of shoes that should have been thrown out 20 years ago. Make it go away." Well, dear, I don't think we can do that. The Chipmunks have been around for over 60 years and they are likely to be here for another 60.
CHRISTMAS WRAPPING - Spice Girls
There is a reason why you don't hear Christmas Wrapping on the radio. It's a horrible song and my wife and I can agree on this one. Check out these lyrics. "Just because it is the season....the perfect gift for me would be completions and connections left from last year." Say what? You'd have to listen to it to fully appreciate how horrible Christmas Wrapping is. The best thing about having this song on the hate list is now I can actually name one Spice Girls song.
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