Tuesday, March 20, is "Extraterrestrial Abductions Day." Yes, there's a designated holiday for this event. If aliens were to land and abduct someone from Grand Junction, where would you recommend they look?

Let's pretend this is their very first contact with earthlings. Their experiences upon landing could shape their entire understanding of the human race. With this in mind, I really don't want the aliens landing at certain Grand Valley locations.

Then again, if aliens were to abduct someone from the stop sign at 32 Road next to the shopping center, the experience may convince them they want nothing to do with the human race and thus persuade them to move on.

Imagine if aliens were to land near the stop sign at 29 Road and Unaweep. They would be stranded there for hours, completely unable to make a left turn. The delay would allow authorities time to respond and nullify the alien threat.

They could land in my neighborhood. This would thwart any kidnapping attempts. By the time the aliens got back from finding their victim, they would discover their spaceship on blocks, completely stripped bare of its components. Liftoff would be impossible.