Men everywhere are asking the question, 'Do I HAVE to buy her a gift for Valentine's Day? Do I HAVE to get her flowers?  Do we have to go out for dinner? A card and candy, too, are you serious?

Let me start off by saying - and ladies please don't throw things at me - I don't believe gifts are necessary for Valentine's Day. We've got your birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day and our anniversary.

Gift buying for guys is already tough enough without throwing yet another occasion to have to go shopping. Valentine's Day is about celebrating our love, not about how much money we are going to spend on gifts.

If there is a gift involved, it should be heartfelt and planned. If you are within 24 hours of giving it to her, it's probably too late. You are going to end up getting something strictly out of obligation - and she's going to know it.

Ladies, face the fact that men generally aren't good gift buyers -- Stop expecting it! Do you really want a gift he probably bought just for the sake of buying a gift? Why not take your focus off the gift and look at the other ways he might be expressing his love.

Secondly guys, we have to draw the line somewhere. Is it really necessary to get her flowers, candy, a gift, a card, AND take her out to dinner? I typically don't even spend that much on her birthday. It's not that I don't want to spend money on her, it's just that,  unfortunately, I don't have money growing out my ears or on a tree in the backyard.

(Zane Mathews)
(Zane Mathews)
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Does she even like flowers? If not, for crying out loud don't give her flowers. A lot of women truly love flowers, so if that's the case, by all means do it -- just make sure you give her the right kind. Does she even like roses? What is her favorite kind of flower? Get those.

Is she on a diet or watching her weight? If so, don't give her candy. If flowers and candy aren't in the mix, maybe you do spring for a small gift, a nice card, and dinner out.

Speaking of the card guys, yes, you need to get her a card, but don't just sign your name inside. Write something personal to your sweetheart, even if it means essentially re-stating what the card already said. A hand-written 'I love you!" goes a long way.

Do you have to take her out to eat? The answer is no, but you should do something. A really cool thing would be to fix her a candle light dinner at home. You do the cooking and the clean up. If you don't cook, maybe get carry out, take it home and you can still have a nice romantic dinner. Of course, she might really appreciate the chance to get out of the house and spend some quality time face-to-face with you and not in front of the television.

(Zane Mathews)
(Zane Mathews)
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So, guys, it is Valentine's Day, and YES, you do have to do it - but you don't have to do all of it. Draw your own lines based upon your sweethearts personal likes and desires. There are no hard fast rules, but I would suggest at the very least a sweet card and dinner. If money is not a problem, then, yes, spring for flowers, candy, or a gift as well.

Most importantly guys, make her feel special. Pay attention to her, listen to her, and make sure you tell her how much you love her, want her, and how lucky you are to have her. Don't let these words come out of your mouth just once a year.

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