How to Prepare for the Perfect Yard Sale
In Grand Junction, things are done a little differently. Or as locals will tell you, “I don’t care how anyone else does it, I do it this way.”
No instance is this truer than yard sales. How many yard sales (or garage sales, if you prefer) have you gone to where you had no idea what you were looking at? The owner will tell you to pick through it because they’re not sure either.
One of the many things I love about living here. Our attitude. But for those who don’t live here or have never been here, allow me to help you understand why yard sales here are unlike yard sales anywhere else.
Assembling The Stuff
It’s not a question of whether or not it’s worth trying to sell, just get it out of the basement, garage, back porch, etc, etc and stick it somewhere out of the way. Until the neighbor, spouse, child, pastor, local health official recommends you try having a yard sale. Brilliant idea!
So you unstack the leaning tower of cardboard and arrange them so you can view their contents by walking past each one of them. What you didn’t plan for was the line stretching across the street to your neighbors, effectively stopping traffic and ticking off the neighborhood. (But, hey, it was THEIR idea)
Through a bit more creativity, you are able to get a few folding tables and put the “good stuff” on top of them. Knick knacks, fans that usually work, books, more books, books with water stains, a few magazines, maybe that TV on the porch that doesn’t have a remote and is stuck on one station. (CBS, so you can usually watch the Broncos) And beneath the impressive layout the aforementioned boxes. Unsorted. Ready to be emptied by the masses who, once they realize this stuff is actually here, will come running for it. You are ready, yard sale-r!
The Day Of The Sale
And so you are ready. You have everything laid out exactly how you want it. You set up your lawn chair, which of course has the slot for a can of cold refreshment. You will also move it around to remain in the shade all day, and await the hordes while daydreaming how you are going to spend all that money. Not really caring that you never priced any of it. Nor the fact that you forgot to advertise it.
Ah yes. Signage.
With great care, you make TWO signs. Put one up on the tree at each end of your street and, feeling satisfied, open one of them ice cold (meh) beverages and wait. And wait. But eventually, people start showing up, mostly because they see the great pile of stuff and the sign and assume it’s safe.
Finally, the yard sale is done. You tally up the cash you made and look at the remaining stuff and think you just might have made enough to take it all to the dump.
Unless that is, you have another yard sale. Next weekend.